THIS MONTH I REFUSE TO SEE...

ZOOKEEPER!

If you've ever read this part of my site this decision won't come as a surprise to you. If you've seen the trailer for Zookeeper this shouldn't come as a surprise to you either. This new Kevin James flick looks like a mess from start to finish. Last summer I tore in Vampires Suck stating that the filmmakers behind that mess (Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer) should never be given another dime again. If the 'people that brought you Paul Blart: Mall Cop' keep on with this kind of behaviour it won't be long until I boycott them as well.

Really, when it comes down to it you've see this movie before. Hands down. Be it in the form of Ben Stiller taking on a museum (the posters even look the same!), Eddie Murphy going crazy in Doctor Dolittle, Jim Carrey having a hard-on for the animal kingdom in Ace Ventura, or Rob Schneider literally having animal parts stuffed into him in The Animal, Zookeeper is just a different brand of shit that once again takes up valuable space on the screens in our theatres. I swear to God, if this movie does better than Super 8, I will have to seriously consider taking my own life.

For those of you who wanna snag some pick up lines from a gorilla and a monkey, Zookeeper opens July 8th. Or you know, you could just take a ball peen hammer to your privates...