FRIGHT NIGHT (2011)

At the beginning of this year I found out that 2011 would break the record for most remakes and sequels in one year. I was aware of most of the sequels, but it's the remakes that have been taking me by surprise - both in quality and the fact that I didn't even know they were remakes. It was only slightly before watching Fright Night that I found out it had been done once before. In 1985 William Ragsdale teamed up with Roddy McDowall (known most for his Planet of the Apes roles) to conquer Jerry - a vampire. Once I knew about it, in preparation for this review, I found the original on Netflix and watched away. I wasn't disappointed by the film, nor was I profoundly entertained. I got a kick out of seeing McDowell perform sans ape and liked the storyline enough, but I felt it dragged and I was left underwhelmed.

Remakes as they go, always go in one of two directions. The first is that you end up with a shot-for-shot modernization of the classic that shouldn't have been touched in the first place. Horror films always seem to get revamped (small pun intended) and more often than not, in this style. I cite 1998's Pyshco remake and 2006's The Omen as prime examples. The other option is a reimagining, where you have a similar beginning and end but a different middle. Obviously there's variations and blends of this rule, but it's more or less the same. A reimagining though, isn't always good either (ie: Rob Zombie's Halloween). Fright Night, for the record, is a prime example of a reimagining.

Colin Farrell plays Jerry the vampire, a stranger who's just moved in next door to Charley (played well by Star Trek's Anton Yelcin). In the original, Charley is a sci-fi/horror geek who stalks Jerry until he finds out the truth. In this version, Charley is working very hard at being more socially acceptable in school and is later warned of Jerry's antics by his friend, Ed (played by McLovin himself, Christoper Mintz-Plasse). It seems a mutual friend has gone missing and Ed begs Charley to help him find their vanished comrade. After some investigation, more truths about Jerry come to surface and soon Charley finds himself in a head to head battle with Jerry to save his mom (Toni Collette) and his girlfriend (Imogen Poots).

I remember a time when I used to really hate Colin Farrell. I don't really remember why, or where I saw something to make me feel this way. I know I've seen him be an Irish prick on some talk show, where his real self shone through and I instantly put him in a class with Russell Crowe -douchebags who roam Hollywood thinking they're all that. Oddly enough, that changed for me after seeing Farrell in Horrible Bosses - when he was at his douchebagiest. But it showed a lighter side of Farrell to me and allowed me to experience just how good he could be. Fright Night is no exception. While some will argue this film belongs to Yelchin, there's a subtly in Farrell's performance that seals the deal for me. There's no ego attached to the fact that Jerry's a super cool vampire who knows he's probably going to bone your girlfriend. He just simply knows he's been around 375 years longer than you and has the experience to prove it. Nothing like respecting your elders, right? Or you know, wanting to plunge a stake into their heart.

Fright Night gets an open door. Despite some parts that seemed to move too fast (in definite contrast to the original), Marti Noxon (known for the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series) delivers a solid script and some really witty moments (I couldn't place some of the dialogue patterns until after when I found out who wrote this adaptation). Even though it shares the same title as the original, this take on Fright Night feels like a different movie completely. It's fun and scary enough that if it's still kickin' around come Halloween, I recommend checking it out to get into the mood of things. Even before then, it's still worth your time.

*Stills courtesy of Dreamworks SKG

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RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES (2011)

There are far too few movies I go to, where in the end I actually walk out with a feeling that I'm better off for seeing it. Movies that come to mind more recently are Source Code, Limitless and The Adjustment Bureau. With the exception of Source Code, however, none has moved me quite like Rise of the Planet of the Apes just has. This is partially because I love movies - pure and simple. But any fan of any type of art will tell you that while you can love paintings, or music, or literature - that doesn't mean everything is spot on. The biggest reason though, comes from the fact that Rise is just really well done.

If you're familiar with the Planet of the Apes franchise, you know there's been six movies so far. The original Planet of the Apes was released in 1968 - an astonishing 43 years ago. After that came a weak sequel and then an intriguing transition film. The fourth film, titled Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, is the one this current film is a reboot of. While I liked Conquest, thankfully it can't hold a candle to the realism and power that lies within Rise. Don't get me wrong though, I know the influence the original series had and I respect that. For me, as a huge POTA fan nothing will ever beat the original and its comments on social acceptance and racism. It was a powerful film and will always be considered as such.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes takes all that was wrong with the old films and fixes it. What always bothered me about the originals was the lack of realism. This may be coming from the mind of someone who has come to both appreciate and hate CGI simultaneously, but Rise nails it. There wasn't one moment where I was worried the effects weren't carrying the story. The actors deliver the same. I felt James Franco and John Lithgow did brilliantly. Thought even they didn't bring their A-game nearly as much as Andy Serkis. Using the same technology they used in Avatar and King Kong, Serkis delivers a knockout performance as the lead revolutionary ape, Caesar. It's an odd thing to feel for a CG character as much as one does watching Rise. Rightfully deserved, though when your seeing such a powerfully emotional character arc unfold before your eyes.

To top it all off, you get a good few references to the old films as well as a few teasers for potential sequels (of which the second is already in talks). Some of the old references to watch for include seeing an old Charlton Heston movie on the TV in the background and the use of a few choice infamous phrases - more of a nod than a gimmick, thankfully. As for teasers, there's a scene in the midst of the credits not to miss as well as limited talk of a manned mission to Mars. The mission to Mars storyline seems insignificant at first, until a Newspaper article later on proclaims 'Lost in Space?'. It doesn't take too much to put together that those astronauts will likely face the same fate as Heston and his buddies did back in '68. Whether it's just a nod or not will be determined in years to come.

I've always felt that walking into a movie shouldn't require effort on the viewer's part. You shouldn't have to sit there and struggle to like a movie - the creative team behind a film is responsible for that. Few films are far from achieving this. They rely too heavily on special effects or action or big names to do the work (ie: The Smurfs). With Rise of the Planet of the Apes, they rely on the story. Shocking right? That a good story with heart can actually work every once in a while. Especially with this storyline as they could have easily resorted to a bad action movie. Not that it was awful, but Burton's remake ten years ago is an example of how this Rise could have gone from thoughtful to awful pretty damn quick.

I may be pleasantly optimistic at this point (coming off the high from Rise), but with talk of Andy Serkis getting an Oscar nod for his work in this Planet of the Apes adventure - perhaps we're not far off from a Best Picture nomination as well. There's still plenty of year left though, as we come into August with a bang, but this is one to definitely catch. Open door, all the way.

*Stills courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox

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THE SMURFS (2011)

So, what do you get when you mix modern CGI with a classics children tail and the theory that if you can, maybe you should? You get a hunk of good intentions called The Smurfs. You also get somebody like Neil Patrick Harris to try and make it better. News flash folks, it's not NPH that does the writing - nor can his scrawny frame carry the weight of twenty years of childhood nostalgia and expectations. But then again - I'm not sure who could.

As more movies like The Smurfs continue to come out, a better idea comes to mind. Why not just leave well enough alone? Not only have the Smurfs told their numerous stories through the original show, but it's highly unlikely we need another 'wacky character caught in New York' story. Frankly, if you are going to make a Smurfs movie, why not keep it in the same environment that made the original so successful? Was there really no other story you could have told? Could there not have been more drug references? Did this have to be a kids movie when the generation it belongs to is now aged thirty or higher? I think if the studios wanted a film people would be raving about, they should have upped the ante here and made it more mature.

The basic story here is that The Smurfs are chased by Gargamel into a vortex that transports them to New York City. There the Smurfs meet Patrick (Harris) and Grace (Jayma Mays) who help them out by giving them a place to live until they can find their way back to the Smurf Village. Meanwhile, Gargamel is out to find them because, well, that's what he does. Also, he needs them so he can start up his own cosmetics company and take over the world - nope, I didn't make that up. But thankfully, the Smurfs will lend their helping hand to assist Patrick in coming up with a new ad campaign. One that'll undoubtedly represent his best wishes and intent - and not the interest of the people who are paying him (because his bosses are evil you see). Essentially, it's all a bunch of believe in yourself bullsmurf.

If there was any redeeming quality in this movie it was Hank Azaria who plays Gargamel. You could tell both him and Harris knew this movie was shit, so they decided to ad lib whatever they could get away with and have fun with The Smurfs. Yes, this movie is also kid friendly and colorful so I'm sure anybody under five may have a smurf of a time watching the film. Anybody with the brain of somebody a little more mature might giggle at some of the quips but will be bored by the unoriginal storyline.

I am giving The Smurfs a big BLUE closed door, because feeling blue can be a bad thing - despite the film's opening message. But let's be honest - there were very few people who knew this would make a good movie, even with the blue buzz around this thing. Although I've yet to see it, if you want a movie your child will cherish (especially if it's their first movie-going experience) I'd recommend Winnie the Pooh. From what I've heard, that's a movie to be proud of. New T-shirt idea: Go Pooh, Not Blue.

*Stills courtesy of Columbia Pictures

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PIRANHA 3D (2010)

Piranha bites – in a good way.

Elisabeth Shu stars as Julie Forester, a small town sheriff who’s busiest time of year is spring break - when all the youngins come to town to drink, skinny dip and give the middle finger to the Man. Her son, Jake (Steven R. Mcqueen) gets stuck in his usual good son role of babysitting his younger sister and brother, rather than going out and doing what kids his age should be doing. That is until Jake gets offered a job by the eccentirc producer of WildWildGirls.com, Derrick Jones (Jerry O’Connell). You see, Derrick needs a local to show him the hot spots in order to shoot his new spring break vid, and before Jake can even accept the job, he is on Derrick’s party yacht and they’re heading out to their first location. What they don’t know is something lurks below and around the town, unearthed by tremors that until now, have kept an underwater, prehistoric lake out of reach of the hands of time.

So what is it that lurks? Well, it’s not the tranny from Sleepaway Camp (1983) – although how fun would that be?! No, it’s the vicious, cannibalistic, 2 million year old ‘thought to be extinct’ original boss of the water – the piranha! And boy, do they know how to throw an ass-munching party. With all the naked and scantilly clad partiers in the water due to spring break, this is nothing short of an all you can eat for them – and the piranha are hungry!

Now, I liked this movie. I actually really enjoyed it. I compare it to Snakes on a Plane (2006) in the sense that Snakes on a Plane knew it was a bad movie, and it did it right. That’s what you get with Piranha, a really well done B movie that takes a note from the original – which is even represented in it’s posters. We even get a cameo from Richard Dreyfus who isn’t in it long, but (according to IMDB) is playing the same character he played in the basis for this and all ‘don’t go into the water’ movies – Jaws (1975). But he doesn’t steal the thunder here. By far the highlight of the movie is seeing ol’ Doc Brown himself, Christopher Lloyd, as the movie’s fish expert, Mr. Goodman. It took me straight back to the Back to the Future trilogy (which conincidentally also stars Elisabeth Shu). I would like to see this guy in movies more. It’s like seeing a favorite uncle you haven’t seen forever. Nothing but fond memories and grinning. I should mention Jerry O’Connell also takes over every scene he’s in. He knows the ridiculousness of this film, and O’Connell plays it to a tee. The rest of characters seem to fall into the shadows and when something does happen to them eventually, you just don’t care.

The only real problem I had with Piranha was its ending. Now, the ending itself isn’t the worst finish in the history of cinema, it just feels...unsatisfying. Throughout the movie you are building up to the climax where the piranha attack the folks visiting on spring break. Once you get to that scene (where the majority of budget was certainly spent), you unsurprisgingly have a huge smile on your face for the whole time its on screen (roughly 5-10 minutes). After that, it cuts to the end scene (which I won’t mention here), for a good 15-20 minutes. In the end, you have this huge buildup over the first hour and some and then it’s sorta like...nothing happens (or nothing you really care about anyways). So boourns to that.

Now, in the theatre I went too I was shocked and entertained when a set of parents walked in with their son and daughter who couldn’t have been more than ten. I assume they didn’t know what Piranha was exactly, but wanted to treat their kids to a 3-D movie. Which is cool, and I don’t blame them - Step Up 3D was the only other 3-D movie playing, and no matter what Piranha wasn’t going to be as damaging as that. However, this movie is still not for kids – at all. Not only is there your usual course language, but there’s also extreme gratuitous nudity and (because this film is produced by Hostel (2005) director Eli Roth) extremely shocking (and awesome) violence. Needless to say, I wasn’t shocked to see those same kids were missing from their seats immediately after the nude underwater ballet scene (which I’ll admit - as pointless as it is, is actually kinda pretty). So note to parents, go see something a little less damaging to your kids that they’ll like more – like Scott Pilgrim.

What I also want to share with all ye who look upon this review is that I too have experienced the wrath of the vicious, terrifying piranha. That is, I have three of my own red-bellied piranhas and although they have never attacked me personally, the feeder golddish I put into their tank every day or so certainly know how truly frightening these creatures can be. This may have been the initial thing that perked my interest in this film the first time I saw the trailer. At the time I thought nothing more of it than another peice of trash heading our way, courtesy of the Hollywood fat cats in order to capitalize on the popularity of 3-D.

Then I started to hear things. Be it in person or on the interweb, this film picked up some speed and it seemed more likeley we’d see another Snakes on a Plane rather than another bad Jaws ripoff. That’s when I knew I’d be seeing this movie before the drone of Oscar-driven movies werre released and pushed this thing into the cheap theatres, never to be seen again in 3-D or on the big screen.

I give Piranha 3D an open door, because it’s rare that you go see a bad movie that was supposed to be awful on purpose. It’s fun, and the actors have fun, and the violence is epic. The nudity is whatever, but exxxpected. This movie is a direct and accurate shoutback to the 70’s and 80’s cheesy horror movies that made me love the genre in the first place. I recomend you go see this before it leaves theatres, because it definitely won’t be as good at home.

*Stills courtesy of Atmosphere Entertainment MM

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THE KARATE KID (2010)

Little one, did I ever tell you about the time

I fought off bad guys for a good couple of hours while drunk?

Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan contribute to the ongoing remake, sequel and “reimagining” fad with their version of The Karate Kid.

I know for sure at some point in my life I saw the original, and maybe a couple of the sequels (Hilary Swank was in one apparently?). Mr. Miyagi (played by the great, late Pat Morita) was just too cool a guy to not pay attention to and we all of course remember “wax on, wax off” which was replaced in this film with a more applicable “jacket on, jacket off”. Yes, I’m aware what the latter part of that phrase sounds like, but I didn’t notice that until now so I don’t see it as an issue.

Smith’s character Dre moves with his mother to Beijing, China for some unknown reason. Maybe the recession is so bad in the US they moved to a country where kids get paid a penny an hour to make Walmart merchandise? Hard to say. Either way, they end up there and Dre finds himself slowly building an accidental relationship with his and his mother’s maintence man, Mr. Han (Chan).

It seems bullies don’t just exist in North America, they exist in China too – except there they know Kung-fu. Turns out that’s a bad thing when you’re a smart-ass. After getting rescued from one of these kung-frontations by Mr. Han who shows off his mad skills and serves the group of unruly teens, Dre is put in a position where he must learn the art of Kung-fu to respectfully take on his foes one at a time in a tournament that’s just around the corner. Start the 80’s montage seqence…

Ultimately, The Karate Kid is a reimaginging (guess The NEW Karate Kid didn’t have the same ring to it) that’s about your typical ‘retired master finds himself through the new student who in turn finds his own way due to the retired master who finds himself through the new student who – well, you get the point. Do they learn lessons in the end? Yes. Is it predictable? Yes. Does Jayden Smith borrow every acting nuance from his famed father Will Smith? Yup.

But dammit all I liked it anyways. The movie has a more authentic feel to it than the original, and Jackie Chan outdoes himself to the point where if this movie wasn’t, well, this movie – he may have even been considered for an Oscar next year. Chan hasn’t looked this comfortable in a role since The Tuxedo, and that’s saying a LOT.

The Karate Kid was still really fun and waaay better than I thought it would be. Not many remakes do the original justice and the mistake is that they usually don’t try often enough to be their own movie (otherwise what’s the point?). This film is a great example of that, another would be Batman (1989) and The Dark Knight (2008) – they do something different and don’t try and reshoot the original with different actors and CG (I site 1998’s Psycho).

For those reasons and definitely a few more I’m giving The Karate Kid an open door. Not because it’s the best movie of the year, but because it did right by the material and a resonating fan base and came out on top regardless of the pre-release negative expectations. There’s nothing here we haven’t seen before, but it’s not a half bad way to kill a couple of hours, either.

*Stills courtesy Columbia Pictures

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