SALT (2010)

Coming soon - 'Salt 2: Salt and Pepper' (seriously, give it a couple years)

Angelina Jolie is “Russian” to kick some ass in Salt, an action upon action fun time that in the end just doesn’t deliver.

Evelyn Salt (Jolie) is your everyday woman who just happens to work for the CIA. She has a husband who collects and studies spiders, and a dog to fill in for the children they probably don’t have because they are too busy. All is glorious and dandy with Salt until one day a Russian man walks into the CIA and outs our lovely heroine as being a secret Soviet spy out to kill the Russian president who is in the US attending the US Vice President’s funeral because he… yeah, I didn’t really follow it. When it comes to an action movie like Salt though, the modus operandi behind the kill apparently doesn’t mean as much as how death defying Salt can be or how big an explosion she can cause.

To stop Salt and her inexplicable gain of Spider-Man like powers (due to perhaps a spider bite from one of her hubby’s subjects?) her boss and long time friend Ted Winter (Liev Schreiber) steps up and takes an abrasive approach to trying to understand why Salt is running from them. After all, they just want to ‘talk’ to her, right?

Beyond that you get a lot of explosions and death-defying stunts and chases followed by running followed by a little Russian speak to authenticate things. Don’t get me wrong though, all of this was really fun to watch and you kind of sit back in awe of a lot of it. Could any of it happen in real life? Undoubtedly - but that’s not what causes my dislike for this movie.

What I didn’t like about Salt is at the end (and not because of the twist ending alone) I kind of felt like “So what?” Salt felt like a movie I had seen before. It went through the same usual formula that revealed a little about the character and their inexplicable ways of seeing into the future and knowing that no matter what, they will find the resources they need to MacGyver themselves out of a sticky situation. Neat, yeah – clever, no. By the time the credits roll you’re left with room for a sequel of course, but does it really matter? With Salt I wanted something more tangible and mysterious like The Bourne Identity, where you could really feel the action, no need for wire work and whatnot there. Salt felt more like a video game I would play than a movie I would watch.

With so many clever and well-made movies out there this summer, this felt like a summer blockbuster yes, but just fell short of being acceptable. This could be a good thing though. It seems people at the top that make the movies we watch are starting to realize that your everyday movies that thrived in the 90’s just won’t do anymore. Remakes with flashier CG and updated scenery just won’t do anymore. Movies themselves have gotten better and more and more popular and it seems that, huh, maybe a well thought out story is actually an important thing we need more of. Salt gets a closed door. Not because it’s not entertaining, but because it’s a mash-up of a lot of stuff we’ve seen before. I’m actually a little in’salt’ed (you knew it was coming).

*Stills courtesy of Columbia Pictures

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THE OTHER GUYS (2010)

Like a peacock, this movie spreads it's wings and flies...

The guys who brought you the hilarious Step Brothers (2008) are back, and this time sibling rivalry is out the door for a more “serious” take on the buddy cop side of things. If you say to yourself “Nah, it’s okay, I’ve seen Cop Out…” than slap yourself in the face and realize this film is much, much better than that wholly unsatisfying ‘Kevin Smith is part of the cool kids club’ piece of junk (save for Tracy Morgan who may only been entertaining due to his hilariously dumb 30 Rock alter ego Tracy Jordan).

With Other Guys it’s much different as Will Ferrell and new funny man Mark Wahlberg take on a bunch of fat cat CEOs who are aiming to steal $32 billion from a lottery company. Holtz (Wahlberg) is itching to get out of the office and out of the shadows of their station’s two top detectives (played hilariously by Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson), while Gamble (Ferrell) is fine staying indoors where it’s safe and snatching up every bit of paperwork he can. Once the opportunity to get some action (as they say) does arise, they seem to almost instantly screw up. It seems they eventually screw up so much they find their way out of the proverbial paper bag and stumble onto those pesky CEO’s plan – a plan, by the way, that’s just alright and along with all the chatter about it from both police and criminal alike, is about the only thing that slows this pretty funny comedy down and maybe makes it 15 minutes too long. That’s me nitpicking though.

The rest of the film is right on par with the quirky behaviour I fell in love with during this team’s other films like Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004). The wackiness of it all lends itself well to this film, and it never really seems out of place. It rarely gets tiresome and if it weren’t for those pesky ‘we have to talk about the story to keep the film going‘ moments, this film would have been hella funny. There are lots of instances where you will look at the person next to you as you’re laughing and say “What the what?” because it’s so ridiculous. It’s better in a movie like this than in something that’s supposed to be serious.

I think the reason I liked Other Guys so much, was the presence of usually more serious actors like Wahlberg or Michael Keaton (who plays the police Captain). The fact that Keaton here is just as serious as he was reading lines as Batman makes for a hell of funny thing when he keeps on spouting titles of TLC songs without knowing who they even are. The same goes for Wahlberg when he keeps comparing himself to a peacock who “needs to get out and fly” – even though he knows they don’t. It doesn’t matter though.

The Other Guys gets a definite open door from me and is right up there with Date Night and Hot Tub Time Machine as being the funniest movie of the year. Sure it has its flaws, but maybe that’s why the funny parts are so funny.

*Stills courtesy of Columbia Pictures

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INCEPTION (2010)

Let’s hope they don’t make a sequel...

Christopher Nolan has made some of the best movies in the past ten years. I first noticed him with Memento (2000), and more recently he made the more than awesome The Dark Knight (2008). In that ten years he’s made five other movies, and somehow found the time to slowly chip away at a masterpiece about the invasion of dreams and the inner workings of the human psyche.

When I first saw the trailer for Inception I wasn’t sure what to think. It had some interesting visuals, to say the least, but you were left feeling both intrigued and … whatever. I knew I wanted to see it but I also wanted more details first. Even when I did finally go to the theatre to see the film I really had no idea what to expect.

In a nutshell (and I promise I’m not ruining anything) Inception is about a man named Dom Cobb (Leo DiCaprio) who is the best at one thing – stealing secret information from the mind of someone who is sleeping. He enters your dreams and gets information you would never be willing to discuss with yourself, all without you knowing. He does this with the help of his associate Arthur (the always amazing Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and his dream-designing architect Ariadne (Ellen Page). After being hired by Saito (Ken Watanabe) the team goes after a rich playboy named Robert Fischer (Cilian Murphy). They don’t just want to get information though, their job is to put an idea in Fischer’s mind and make it think it’s his idea. This technique is called ‘inception’, and is rumoured to be impossible. That’s all I’m going to say about the plot, because that’s all you need to know.

What I found most amazing about Inception is the fact that no matter how hard I think – it seems to be a relatively flawless movie. After ten years of writing I would hope Nolan would have fixed any bugs or donut holes in what is seemingly his defining film. But the fact I find Inception flawless is only the tip of the iceberg of why this is a great film.

Some people will run out and tell you this movie is as confusing as Donnie Darko and way too long. Personally, I had no problems following the storyline and keeping up, nor did I mind the length. In films like this, as I usually do, I was constantly thinking of theories to explain things, doing math in my head and continually trying to skip ahead and predict any possible surprises and twist endings that might show up. I was doing all that and still kept pace with Mr. Nolan’s creation so it’s beyond me why people leave Inception not knowing what the hell happened – aside from the ending, which I will get to right away.

One of the top Googled searches this past week was “Inception theories”. Now, I know what you’re thinking. The answer is NO, I am not going to theorize about what exactly happened in this movie. I, like most people, take the story at face value and don’t believe Nolan has created something that requires hours of online searching to know exactly what happened (I’m looking at you Mulholland Dr.). Until he comes out and says “this is what happened”, I will stick by my own beliefs as most people who enjoy any movie should.

As for the performances, I think Inception was really well cast, and there may be a couple of Oscar nominations here. Leondardo DiCaprio will definitely be a front runner for Best Actor this year, if not for this film, than for Shutter Island (or maybe both?). Joseph Gordon-Levitt is quickly becoming one of my new favourite actors. He’s a likeable guy, does really well in this film and has a certain old school Hollywood feeling to him. If you haven’t seen 500 Days of Summer, please do. It’s really well done.

Now for the most talked about ending since The Sixth Sense. I don’t want to spoil anything for those of you that haven’t seen it, so I can’t go into too much detail. As aforementioned, I take the movie at face value which means I take the ending for what it is. Now, I’m talking about the ending scene, not the last shot. The last shot could mean something, or it means nothing (you’ll know what I’m talking about when you see it). I heard one guy in the theatre when we were leaving say “Why did they have to ruin the movie by doing that?”; another said “So what the hell happened then?”. I laughed at the ending as I would with someone who just made an extremely clever joke – because the ending is nothing more than Nolan winking at the audience and telling us you either get what the movie is about or you don’t. If you don’t, you’ll hate the ending and want to punch something. If you do, you will laugh like I did because you know exactly what Nolan is doing.

In the end, I obviously give Inception a wide open door and believe it will be a long time before I see anything that I ultimately loved as much as this movie. It’s like reading a great book and finishing and you’re left saying “Now what?”. This is without a doubt the best movie of the year, and maybe the best movie you're likely to see in a while.

*Stills courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures

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DESPICABLE ME (2010)

Not so despicable...

.

Steve Carell and Jason Segal go head to head in the surprisingly entertaining Despicable Me. I, like everyone else, has seen the trailers and constant bombardment of dancing, yellow, one eyed little dudes in the weeks prior to this film’s release. However, I did relatively little looking into before seeing the film as frankly, it looked funny, but my desire to see it was … meh.

However, at a time where there really wasn’t much to see I decided to give it a try. I didn’t regret it. Despicable Me is the story of an evil mastermind named Gru (Steve Carell) who is constantly trying to trump every other evil genius out there and make headlines as the best thief ever. He’s a loveable character who seems to be past his glory days and has trouble thinking outside the box. He has his typical minions (Oompa Loompa-inspired shorties colored yellow) and a mad scientist named Dr. Nefario (Russell Brand) at his disposal. The new guy in town, however, named Vector (Jason Segal) is the new kid with the new ideas and the better technology. Wherever Gru seems to strike, Vector is right behind him stealing the thunder.

As part of one of his dastardly plans to steal a shrink ray from Vector, Gru decides to adopt three girls from an orphanage to infiltrate Vector’s lair. However, what he doesn’t expect is he may end up kinda like-liking the girls a little more than he may have planned on.

Despicable Me has a more typical ending than I would have liked, however where it won me over was the atypical overall feel of the film which reminded me a lot of Coraline. It has some darker moments that fit the tone of the overall movie perfectly, and in a way I can’t describe it sort of gave me the heebie jeebies. This is far from a bad thing though as it makes the tone of the movie far more richer than something like Shrek, which is hit and miss but always typical. You’ll know what I mean when you see it.

It’s this touch of originality though that I loved about the film which is why I am giving it an open door. The film treats you right and hits a lot of the right notes without selling out. Plus I love Steve Carell. Let’s just hope he doesn’t overdo it in the future like Robin Williams, where just because he’s awkward and silly and makes funny voices he feels like he can forgo any effort whatsoever, when it comes to acting and or voice acting.

*Stills courtesy of Illumination Entertainment

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THE KARATE KID (2010)

Little one, did I ever tell you about the time

I fought off bad guys for a good couple of hours while drunk?

Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan contribute to the ongoing remake, sequel and “reimagining” fad with their version of The Karate Kid.

I know for sure at some point in my life I saw the original, and maybe a couple of the sequels (Hilary Swank was in one apparently?). Mr. Miyagi (played by the great, late Pat Morita) was just too cool a guy to not pay attention to and we all of course remember “wax on, wax off” which was replaced in this film with a more applicable “jacket on, jacket off”. Yes, I’m aware what the latter part of that phrase sounds like, but I didn’t notice that until now so I don’t see it as an issue.

Smith’s character Dre moves with his mother to Beijing, China for some unknown reason. Maybe the recession is so bad in the US they moved to a country where kids get paid a penny an hour to make Walmart merchandise? Hard to say. Either way, they end up there and Dre finds himself slowly building an accidental relationship with his and his mother’s maintence man, Mr. Han (Chan).

It seems bullies don’t just exist in North America, they exist in China too – except there they know Kung-fu. Turns out that’s a bad thing when you’re a smart-ass. After getting rescued from one of these kung-frontations by Mr. Han who shows off his mad skills and serves the group of unruly teens, Dre is put in a position where he must learn the art of Kung-fu to respectfully take on his foes one at a time in a tournament that’s just around the corner. Start the 80’s montage seqence…

Ultimately, The Karate Kid is a reimaginging (guess The NEW Karate Kid didn’t have the same ring to it) that’s about your typical ‘retired master finds himself through the new student who in turn finds his own way due to the retired master who finds himself through the new student who – well, you get the point. Do they learn lessons in the end? Yes. Is it predictable? Yes. Does Jayden Smith borrow every acting nuance from his famed father Will Smith? Yup.

But dammit all I liked it anyways. The movie has a more authentic feel to it than the original, and Jackie Chan outdoes himself to the point where if this movie wasn’t, well, this movie – he may have even been considered for an Oscar next year. Chan hasn’t looked this comfortable in a role since The Tuxedo, and that’s saying a LOT.

The Karate Kid was still really fun and waaay better than I thought it would be. Not many remakes do the original justice and the mistake is that they usually don’t try often enough to be their own movie (otherwise what’s the point?). This film is a great example of that, another would be Batman (1989) and The Dark Knight (2008) – they do something different and don’t try and reshoot the original with different actors and CG (I site 1998’s Psycho).

For those reasons and definitely a few more I’m giving The Karate Kid an open door. Not because it’s the best movie of the year, but because it did right by the material and a resonating fan base and came out on top regardless of the pre-release negative expectations. There’s nothing here we haven’t seen before, but it’s not a half bad way to kill a couple of hours, either.

*Stills courtesy Columbia Pictures

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TOY STORY 3 (2010)

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MACGRUBER (2010)

I’ll never look at vegetable-anal relations the same way ever again.

Growing up I watched a lot of movies I didn’t realize were based on SNL sketches (screw you - IMDB didn’t exist yet) that guided me through my childhood and into my late teens. A lot of them were some of my favourites for a while. These included The Blues Brothers (the first SNL movie made), Wayne’s World and Wayne’s World 2, It’s Pat and A Night at the Roxbury. They all performed decently well enough that with the exception of 1991, 1996 and 1997 there was an SNL movie every year (sometimes twice a year) in the 90’s. The last SNL movie The Ladies Man (2000) sucked bad enough that another movie based on a sketch would not return for another 10 years. That brings me to the film I’m reviewing today – MacGruber.

Will Forte plays MacGruber, a MacGyver wannabe with a “knack” for taking everything from a paperclip to a celery stick and using it as a weapon of mass non-destruction. His partners in crime are the very funny Kristin Wiig as Vicki St. Elmo and Ryan Phillippe as Lt. Dixon Piper. They are put on the task of finding the film’s bad guy, Dieter Von Cunth played by a heavy set, double-chinned Val Kilmer. Poor Val, ever since Batman Forever he just hasn’t tried. It doesn’t stop him from being entertaining though, bless his heart.

So what, as a viewer do you get from MacGruber? Well, nothing you won’t expect. It’s an hour long, F-bomb filled excuse for making a 2 minute SNL sketch a little more riské. It’s by no means a filthy movie – but it’s definitely not as kid friendly as previous movies based on sketches. That doesn’t make it a bad movie, it in fact probably helps it a whole lot, actually. The only thing I did expect was a cameo by the original MacGyver, Richard Dean Anderson. He unfortunately was nowhere to be found and could have brought in some charming comedy (as easy a target as that would have been).

The film parodies itself and other 80’s movie clichés with a series of montages, and typical action sequences. MacGruber’s biggest strength is definitely that it doesn’t take itself too seriously and has a lot of LOL moments where the ridiculousness of a situation is either going to make you howl or roll your eyes with discontent. I mentioned celery earlier – you’ll see why I remembered it so vividly. Some of the funniest stuff comes from MacGruber’s one liners and over-clarification of certain phrases and the notion that he himself is an action hero from the movies. That mixed with some of MacGruber’s obsessions for saving money and his whacky behaviours makes this a fun film to watch.

It’s directed by Jorma Taccone who played Andy Samberg’s brother in the similarly written and comedically timed Hot Rod. I’m actually going to say if you liked Hot Rod you won’t have a hard time enjoying MacGruber – which I’m giving an open door. It’s not ground breaking stuff but it made me laugh a lot – which is sometimes the only thing that matters.

*Stills courtesy of Paramount Pictures

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