ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKQUEL (2009)

You mean they ACTUALLY gave us another movie??!!

So, I walk into the theatre and I ask myself, will I really like this movie? I didn’t know. But after a long December, taking part in the hustle and bustle of Christmas and shooting ROBO Hobo 4, I was just happy period to be getting in to see something - anything.

Albeit, I wasn’t dragged to this movie kicking and screaming as some might have been. The first Chipmunks flick wasn’t awful, and had some decent moments. I don’t necessarily recommend it, but on a lazy Sunday afternoon, it’s not a bad way to kill a couple hours. So I said, whatever, let’s see what this movie is like.

Alvin, Simon and Theodore are doing a show in France when Dave, played like Jason Lee needs a paycheck) gets in a stage accident and has to be hospitalized in Paris for the rest of the movie as he is too injured to go back to the US right away. Before the Chipmunks depart back to the US, Dave tells them that he wants them to live a “normal childhood”. For talking chipmunks I’m not sure if it’s possible, but whatever. So he sends them to school and his nephew Toby (played by Zachary Toby) ends up watching over them. Sort of…

While attending high school, talking to pissed off jocks’ girlfriends (no seriously, the jocks get jealous of the chimpmunks) they run into the chipettes, who have been placed in the same school for no other reason than Ian (played by David ‘I for some reason ended up in this again’ Cross) has placed them there to win a music competition the school is having so he can sign them and gain the same amount and fame he once had with the original Chipmunks. And wouldn’t you know it, they can sing too!

I won’t ruin the ending (Ian gets effed over again and the Chipettes end up moving in with Dave and the Chipmunks) but the movie itself flowed alright but was filled with gags such as an old lady falling down a flight of stairs in a wheelchair and, no shitting you, fart jokes. I have no doubt kids between 5 and 10 might get a kick of this over-acted movie, but if you’re any older there’s probably something else playing that would probably entertain you more. And to top it off, before I had seen the movie I checked on a couple other reviews, and read a brilliant observation in a review written by Capone, who is mainly featured on Ain’t It Cool News:

"First off, explain this bit of logic to me. Why have the makers of the motherfucking SQUEAKQUEL hired some solid comic actors as Justin Long, Amy Poehler, Anna Faris, and Christina Applegate to do the digitally altered voices of chipmunks? Why? You can't tell who is doing the voices; you can't even tell if it's a man or a woman doing the voice of any given chipmunk. For all I know, the makers of the motherfucking SQUEAKQUEL hired an army of she-males to play the rodents. When you totally obliterate the voice of the actor you've hired to play an animated character, any nuances that might enhance the comedy are lost. Dummies!"

He makes a hella-good point here. I wanted to bring it up but why write something yourself when someone else has said EXACTLY what you’re thinking?

So, in case you can’t tell by now, I’m not gonna recommend you walk through this door. Although by now it’s probably in most cheap theatres meaning it won’t cost you $10/pop to see it. Even then, there’s some good stuff from last year that’s probably playing too that could be worth checking out if you missed it. Your life won’t change if you see Alvin 2, and if you are thinking about spending $10 to see it, go see Avatar instead. And if you’ve already seen it, see it again.
*Stills courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox